That headline is tossed with sarcasm and heavily doused in a giant bottle of Hidden-Valley-Roll-Your-Eye-Ranch Dressing and it tastes really flipping good with a Texas Toast sized side of You-Gotta-Be-Kidding-Me Garlic Bread because I’m sitting here typing as a nonchalant bystander.
I don’t really care about the Baseball Hall of Fame, which is physically located in Cooperstown, New York, in fact, the closest I’ve come to experiencing the place is in the fiction of Richard Ford or Don DeLillo or someone like that. I’m a modern guy with a busy ass schedule and I’m not going to spend what little time I have with my beautiful kids trekking into the New York Wilderness to look at some aging plaques that I can just as quick see with the help of my good friend, google dot com.
However, while I don’t need anyone or anything to tell me who the best players in baseball are and have been for the last century, I’m still a fan of baseball players and the pinnacle of recognizing a major league baseball players talent is to see them in the Hall of Fame and I like to see that happen to the people who deserve it. It’s a big deal; it comes with a jacket and a speech and all sorts of post career marketing which is important to guys who spend a lot of money. I can’t wait to see Derek Jeter enshrined, mostly because he was my favorite player when I was introduced to the sport in the summer of 1996, but also because, at this rate, he’s like, the only fucking guy who’s going to be enshrined in the next ten years.
Today was the ballot counting for the Hall of Fame, or whatever the flipping organization is called, and no one was voted into the schlepping thing. Is that odd? Well, no one was voted in, in 1996 and again in 1971. Then it happened then five more times from 1945 to 1960, but all those baseball writers didn’t have all the stats we have now and they had guys on the ballot called Home Run Baker and shit, so whatever. Obviously there are years where this happens. And in every year there are players who debuted on that year’s ballot who weren’t voted in, who eventually got in. I mean, the BBWAA eventually gets most of the players who deserve to have a plaque in the HoF in there, thanks to the Old Timers Committee. Of course, they’re usually on that ballot after they die, hence the title, so one can say that these guys are like artists. Except they made a shit ton of money before they died (well, now they do).
Anyway, my issue is here and now and it’s with these god-forsaken baseball writers. My issue isn’t that they didn’t vote in Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens, when that’s the most obvious decision since wondering if peanut butter goes with chocolate, it isn’t that they indulge themselves in this pathologically moronic argument of who is good enough and who isn’t, it’s that they spend weeks and months talking about this thing as if they’re launching a rocket into the next solar system, it’s because they sit there and overthink this like a ninth grade algebra test and pontificate and deliberate and masturbate and basically fiddle around with every other word that can end in ‘bate’ before they end up sending in blank ballots or vote for Craig Biggio and not Barry Bonds.
I mean, what other media organization does this?
How do these modern baseball writers think that Craig Biggio belongs in the hall of fame more than Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens? I mean, Biggio is a first ballot Hall of Famer, but so are Bonds and Clemens. Biggio got 68.2% which means that he’ll get the required 75% next year or the year after. However, that still leaves us with the fact that not one of the other two guys mentioned above could get more than 40% of the vote. Bonds got 36.2%, Clemens got 37.6%. This is unfathomable for me. These guys defined baseball in the 90’s and 00’s. These guys were who Normal Fan Joe went to see at the ballpark. These guys were at the pinnacle of the sport for their entire careers.
But no. Sorry.
These baseball writers and their hooty tooty steroid era bullshit need to make their point by sending in blank ballots and not voting for the most obvious names since Babe Ruth. It’s just stupid and it makes me hate to read their bullshit and jealous because they’re getting paid to have a moronic, idiotic, myopic, opinions and I’m not.
Of course, this being a Tigers blog, I have to make mention of Jack Morris (67.7%) and Allan Trammel (33.6%). I didn’t watch either player in his career, so I’m going off stats alone. I think they both will get in, Whitaker as well, but I think it’ll be years from now, when they’re all on the Old Timers Committee ballot. This swings back to my original point; I don’t need anyone or anything to tell me who the best players in baseball are, but it’d be nice to see them honored. Unfortunately, it probably won’t come while they are living.
But, whatever. These 800 some odd writers all agree no one is worthy of the Hall of Fame this year. Now, as the years go by, some guys with change their mind, some guys will die, other guys will join the BBWAA and get to vote, and by the time I’m 50 and blogging into a screen cap visor thingy and the Hall of Fame is an online only exclusive museum that charges $25 per hour of bandwidth, the guys who deserve it will have their iron plaques and people will look at all the guys and be like, “Yeah, that Barry Bonds man, remember when he hit 73 homers one year? And here’s Ty Cobb, who once beat the shit out of a random catcaller who didn’t have any hands. Wow, I’m so glad that the Hall of Fame has pictures of them so that I can remember this stuff.”