Created by Big Al Beaton at The Wayne Fontes Experience and updated at Detroit4lyfe, it has now been perfected: The Rod Allen Drinking Game is now in its third version and is better than ever.

For those unfamiliar with this event, the game is best played in a large group of people, especially with those who have participated before. Hit the jump for the updated rules to this timeless masterpiece of human achievement.

Take 1 Drink:

When Rod says “padnuh”

When Rod refers to Tigers fans as “the best fans in baseball” (drink double if the Tigers are on the road)

When Rod says “without question”

When Rod says “this much we do know”

When Rod says “oh, for sure”

When Rod calls a player “special”

When Rod starts a sentence with “for whatever reason” or “make no mistake”

When Rod says “big fella” (drink double if he is referring to someone other than Miguel Cabrera or Prince Fielder)

When Rod says “cheese” in reference to a pitch (drink double if Rod is actually talking about cheese)

When Rod says “look no further”

When Rod says “out of the gate”

When Rod calls Quintin Berry “Q” (drink double if he calls him “QB”)

When Rod does the “Belle Tire Pitch-by-Pitch”

When Rod mention a sponsor

When Rod and Mario make fun of John Keating, Trevor Thompson, or Ryan Field (drink double if they are referring to Keating’s hair)

When Rod mispronounces a player’s name (drink double if he has been with the team for over a month)

Whenever a Fox Sports Detroit girl is shown or mentioned

When Mario ends the inning by saying “Tigers threaten but do not score”

Whenever Shannon Hogan conducts an interview (drink double if someone behind her makes a stupid face at the camera)

Take 2 Drinks:

When Rod says “I see you ___”

When Rod is shown in the booth (addition: all participants must raise their drinks and say “I see you, Rod” before drinking)

When a player bunts and Rod says that this is a “good idea” (drink double if he thinks it’s a bad idea)

When Rod says that a player or coach can “flat out” do something

When Rod starts a sentence with “them boys”

When Rod comes up with a nickname for a recent call-up (drink double if the nickname is something other than a shortening of his name or initials, i.e. ‘A-Jax’ or ‘Q’)

When Rod refers to an opposing player by a nickname (i.e. calls Felix Hernandez “King Felix”)

When Rod says “Easy, Papa Grande”

When Rod and Mario acknowledge a fan’s sign in the crowd (drink double if they crack up and are unable to talk for a moment)

When Rod classifies something as “Major League,” such as a hit or an at-bat

When Rod identifies a pitch as a “piece” (i.e. “change piece” or “slide piece”)

When Rod says “nice piece of hitting” (finish your drink if a pitcher got the hit)

When Rod says “moving parts” in reference to a player’s swing or pitching motion

When Rod plugs a ticket package or fan giveaway (drink double if it’s for the Red Wings, Lions, or Pistons)

When Rod says that a hit was “majestic” (drink double if he is referring to Miguel Cabrera)

When Rod says “filthy” (drink double if he is referring to Justin Verlander)

When Rod talks about food (drink double if the Tigers are in Kansas City and Rod is talking about barbecue; finish your drink if Rod or Mario plug a specific local restaurant)

When Rod says that a pitcher has “easy gas” or “easy” anything, referring to his pitching velocity

When Rod calls a hit an “absolute seed” (drink double if it’s only a single)

When Rod calls Craig Monroe “C-Mo”

When Rod or Mario mention Brandon Inge or Jeremy Bonderman

When the 2006 team is mentioned (drink double if Magglio’s walk-off homer in the ALCS is specifically mentioned)

When Rod calls Tom Brookens “Brookie”

When Rod calls Gerald Laird “G-Money”

When Rod calls Doug Fister “Mister Fister”

Take 3 Drinks:

When Rod says he talked to someone before the game (drink double if this was at batting practice)

When Rod says “oh no he didn’t”

When Rod says that he “feels sorry” for an opposing player (drink double if he is not referring to Justin Verlander pitching)

When Rod says “stop it ___,” referring to an opposing player who is performing well against the Tigers

When Rod praises Jim Leyland for doing something unconventional (such as a hit-and-run on an 0-2 count) (drink double if the move backfires and Rod still approves)

When Rod calls someone “old school”

When Rod calls RBIs “ribeyes” or “steaks”

When Rod rolls the ‘r’ when saying “Papa Grande”

When Rod calls someone “country strong” (finish your drink if he is still referring to Marcus Thames)

When Rod says “steady diet” referring to a pitch sequence (drink double if Rod is actually talking about going on a steady diet)

When Rod tweets during the game

When Rod and Mario intentionally avoid mentioning a no hitter or perfect game in progress (drink double if Justin Verlander is not pitching; finish your drink if they are referring to an opposing pitcher… because you’ll probably need it)

Take 5 Drinks:

When Rod uses the phrase “some kind of ___” (i.e. “some kind of smooth” or “some kind of player”)

When Rod mentions Mexico City for whatever reason

When Rod Allen’s playing career is mentioned (drink double if they talk about his Tigers career)

When Rod calls Mario “fancy”

When Rod or Mario mention Tim McCarver or Joe Morgan

When Rod says that someone “looks good in that uniform” (drink double if he’s talking about a coach)

When Rod spells out a word to make a point (drink double if he spells it wrong on purpose; finish your drink if he spells it wrong by accident)

When Rod calls Rangers manager Ron Washington “Wash” (drink double if Washington is then shown laughing on screen)

When Rod calls Twins manager Rod Gardenhire “Gardy”

If Rod or Mario make a reference to Jake Peavy yelling at himself on the mound

When Rod mentions Ozzie Guillen (drink double if it is in reference to something stupid that Ozzie said or did)

When Armando Galarraga’s perfect game is mentioned

When the footage of Justin Verlander and Trevor Thompson getting doused with Gatorade after Verlander’s second no-hitter is shown

Whenever a Tigers player gets a shaving cream pie to the face in a post-game interview

If Rod or Mario make a reference to Jim Leyland’s smoking habit (finish your drink if this leads to general silliness)

When Rod openly questions a decision made by Leyland (finish your drink if Leyland has been ejected and Rod is questioning Lloyd McClendon)

If Rod or Mario talk about their cars (finish your drink if Mario mentions the specific make and model of Rod’s car)

Finish Your Drink:

When the footage of Rod Allen chasing the pitcher in Japan is shown

When Rod mentions this drinking game either on air or on Twitter (drink double if he cautions participants to stay safe)

If the size of Mario’s nose is mentioned

If Josh Hamilton throws his bat into the stands

Addendums:

If Rod is on national television or is with someone other than Mario, all drinks are doubled

If Rod is exceptionally quiet and players suspect that Rod knows that the game is happening (especially if a rather prominent Tigers blog decides to play the game), the rules can be modified as needed so as to not have participants sitting with full drinks for too long. In addition, take two drinks if Rod goes an entire at-bat without saying anything.

The General Silliness Clause:

Two drinks may be had when Rod and/or Mario display general silliness. This rule can be applied in group or in individual play and can be declared before the game or invoked when the silliness occurs. General silliness can be loosely interpreted, as that’s why it’s not technically part of the rules. Experienced players will recognize this activity, which can include stepping over the play-by-play with yelps, screams or any array of noises, use of non-words, abundant laughing, or appearing overly giddy.

If you have any suggestions for changes or additions, please leave them in the comments.