Dear readers of Walkoff Woodward,

I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

I keep looking forward to these baseball games, expecting the Tigers offense to actually do something. I’m an idiot for thinking this, obviously.

So I sincerely apologize to you guys for listening to me tell you that this team is bound to score runs. I sincerely apologize to you guys for listening to me tell you that this team is bound to dominate on the mound. I sincerely apologize to you guys for listening to me tell you that this team is bound to field….wait, I’ve said this defense is going to be painful from the start, so, I’m batting .333, which is pretty stinking good if you ask me.

I was going to analyze some statistics and attempt to figure out why Ubaldo Jimenez threw 6.2 innings of dominant baseball, but there’s no need to pull up Brooks Baseball, Fangraphs, or MLB Gameday to know why he dominated.

A baseball player who sports a 6.75 BB/9 this year walked one Detroit Tiger on Tuesday evening. One. And it was Ramon Santiago, the ninth place hitter after there were two outs in the seventh inning of a 4-1 game. That fourth ball was the 102nd pitch of the night.He was relieved by Nick Hagadone, who managed to get Quintin Berry to fly out to center field to end the inning.

The Tigers swung early, the Tigers hacked at balls. The Tigers capitalized once again on the aura of mediocrity and looked just as bad and as boring as they did on Sunday, against another pitcher who has historically struggled throwing strikes, Phil Hughes.

Drew Smyly pitch well. He lasted six innings, struck out five, gave up three triples to the Tribe, all three of them drove in runs, only one of them scored. Drew Smyly didn’t struggle. He simply pitched. The Tigers scored a run in the first inning thanks to Quintin Berry’s important speed and didn’t score again until there was one out in the ninth.

I really don’t know what else to tell you. I could tell you a move needs to be made. I could tell you a move doesn’t need to be made. I could tell you that the Tigers drafted Sasquatch on Tuesday evening. None of it matters. It’s nearly impossible to fix an offense in mid-season.

We can hope. We can always hope. But sometimes hope is a recipe for disaster; a pending reality that you will soon by curled up in a ball in your room, with the drapes closed and a fire burning on the other side, the Tigers 2012 season sitting in its flames, the blue/white tongues licking at the pages, laughing at you and your silly hopes and dreams.

Thanks for reading,

Josh