A Lineup for Motown

Originally published in The Tigers Den Blog | 30 December 2010

If you haven’t seen it, you need to check out Big League Stew’s ‘Lineup for Today’. It’s a clever ABC list of the current game’s greats (and in the case of Q and X, the first name that comes to mind) that they revised from the original 1949 version; Line-up for Yesterday: An ABC of Baseball Immortals. The original poem was written by the great and inspiring Ogden Nash.

While I will never even dream of having the ability to write like Nash did, I thought it would be clever to play on his, and Big League Stew’s, poem. So without boring you any longer, here is the Detroit Tigers 2010-2011 Offseason “Line-up for Motown”.

 A is for Austin

Whose lightning fast legs

And game winning smile

Make that trade anything but eggs

B is for Busta

Why I mean Rhymes of Course

Because if you Follow Will’s twitter

You will feel no remorse

C is for Cabrera

His simple presence is a big reason why

The Tigers will compete for the division

That and the ability to hit the deep, deep fly

D is for Dave

The Dombrowski of GM’s

Who can pull off a couple offseason trades

And somehow make them look like gems

E is for Every

Single Tigers player who hit behind Miguel

In the second-half last year

And made the opposing pitchers intentional walk rate swell

F is for February

Which can’t come close enough, you see

Because spring is still two months away

But at least Lakeland, Florida is where they will be

G is for Guillen

The age old Carlos who is injury prone

But can still come into a game

And make the away crowd groan

H is for Harwell

The Voice of the Tigers; the Voice of Summer

For 40 years he coined phrase after phrase

And not one was even a bit of a bummer

I is for Inge

O Brandon! It’s hard to imagine thee

Has been in Detroit for so many years

You were even a member of that team circa 2003

J is for Jose!

The most excited of closers!

Must prove he can do it!

In the midst of Octobers!

K is for King

Justin Verlander of course

The Prince of Punchout

The Duke of Tiger Universe

L is for Locking

Up the same Verlander for years

So fans can witness his flaming fastball

Screaming with madness, filled with posh beers

M is for Magglio

The ago old hero

Whose postseason homer

Meant our World Series draught did not stay at zero

N is for the New Guys

Austin , Boesch, and Busta too

Don’t forget young Oliver and Schlereth

The future of the org, they’re representing Tigers thru and thru

O is for that Oliver

The young lefty with a curve

Who struggled at the big league level

Yet impressed many with how he can serve

P is for Phil

The Coke of relievers, his support of the bullpen in 2010

Has reached its end and he will test his true stuff in the rotation

And support Justin, Max, Rick and maybe even the perfect one then

Q is for Question

The eyebrow we raise

When we think of Brennan Boesch

And the confusing game that he plays

R is for Raburn

The journeyman player with pop in his bat

Will have a shot again at starting in left

But will his offense start slow and prevent him from that?

S is for Scherzer

Who arrived almost forgotten in a trade

And struggled for a few months before those 14Ks

And now he looks at 2011 as his time to be made

T is for The Game

That changed the Tigers forever

When Galarraga pitched to perfection

And Joyce and Selig cried, “Never, never!”

U is for us the fans

Who show up in the tens of thousands every single night

Even when the team is wallowing in third place

But we make it possible to allow Dombrowski to spend Ilitch’s money right

V is for Victor

The marquee offseason signing

Spurns the critics who say he can’t catch

By claiming he’ll win just by swinging

W is for Wells

The friendly ghost is he

Who dreams of patrolling the outfield

This year (or next?) in the Big D

X is for the players we missed

Peralta and Avila, the relievers, them too

They’re just as important to the team as anyone else

Although they may make the club look like a “name zoo”

Y is for….well, why

Why do you compete year in and year out

Only to fade away or let the bottom drop out

It’s time to end that, it’s time to stop

It’s time to end excuses and win on the spot

Z is for Zumaya

A pitch, an elbow, a season; the termination of this quest

Zum’s quick end of 2010, means 2011 can’t come soon enough

Why not pony up and admit it has the potential to be one of the best

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