Originally published in The Tigers Den Blog | 30 December 2010
If you haven’t seen it, you need to check out Big League Stew’s ‘Lineup for Today’. It’s a clever ABC list of the current game’s greats (and in the case of Q and X, the first name that comes to mind) that they revised from the original 1949 version; Line-up for Yesterday: An ABC of Baseball Immortals. The original poem was written by the great and inspiring Ogden Nash.
While I will never even dream of having the ability to write like Nash did, I thought it would be clever to play on his, and Big League Stew’s, poem. So without boring you any longer, here is the Detroit Tigers 2010-2011 Offseason “Line-up for Motown”.
A is for Austin
Whose lightning fast legs
And game winning smile
Make that trade anything but eggs
B is for Busta
Why I mean Rhymes of Course
Because if you Follow Will’s twitter
You will feel no remorse
C is for Cabrera
His simple presence is a big reason why
The Tigers will compete for the division
That and the ability to hit the deep, deep fly
D is for Dave
The Dombrowski of GM’s
Who can pull off a couple offseason trades
And somehow make them look like gems
E is for Every
Single Tigers player who hit behind Miguel
In the second-half last year
And made the opposing pitchers intentional walk rate swell
F is for February
Which can’t come close enough, you see
Because spring is still two months away
But at least Lakeland, Florida is where they will be
G is for Guillen
The age old Carlos who is injury prone
But can still come into a game
And make the away crowd groan
H is for Harwell
The Voice of the Tigers; the Voice of Summer
For 40 years he coined phrase after phrase
And not one was even a bit of a bummer
I is for Inge
O Brandon! It’s hard to imagine thee
Has been in Detroit for so many years
You were even a member of that team circa 2003
J is for Jose!
The most excited of closers!
Must prove he can do it!
In the midst of Octobers!
K is for King
Justin Verlander of course
The Prince of Punchout
The Duke of Tiger Universe
L is for Locking
Up the same Verlander for years
So fans can witness his flaming fastball
Screaming with madness, filled with posh beers
M is for Magglio
The ago old hero
Whose postseason homer
Meant our World Series draught did not stay at zero
N is for the New Guys
Austin , Boesch, and Busta too
Don’t forget young Oliver and Schlereth
The future of the org, they’re representing Tigers thru and thru
O is for that Oliver
The young lefty with a curve
Who struggled at the big league level
Yet impressed many with how he can serve
P is for Phil
The Coke of relievers, his support of the bullpen in 2010
Has reached its end and he will test his true stuff in the rotation
And support Justin, Max, Rick and maybe even the perfect one then
Q is for Question
The eyebrow we raise
When we think of Brennan Boesch
And the confusing game that he plays
R is for Raburn
The journeyman player with pop in his bat
Will have a shot again at starting in left
But will his offense start slow and prevent him from that?
S is for Scherzer
Who arrived almost forgotten in a trade
And struggled for a few months before those 14Ks
And now he looks at 2011 as his time to be made
T is for The Game
That changed the Tigers forever
When Galarraga pitched to perfection
And Joyce and Selig cried, “Never, never!”
U is for us the fans
Who show up in the tens of thousands every single night
Even when the team is wallowing in third place
But we make it possible to allow Dombrowski to spend Ilitch’s money right
V is for Victor
The marquee offseason signing
Spurns the critics who say he can’t catch
By claiming he’ll win just by swinging
W is for Wells
The friendly ghost is he
Who dreams of patrolling the outfield
This year (or next?) in the Big D
X is for the players we missed
Peralta and Avila, the relievers, them too
They’re just as important to the team as anyone else
Although they may make the club look like a “name zoo”
Y is for….well, why
Why do you compete year in and year out
Only to fade away or let the bottom drop out
It’s time to end that, it’s time to stop
It’s time to end excuses and win on the spot
Z is for Zumaya
A pitch, an elbow, a season; the termination of this quest
Zum’s quick end of 2010, means 2011 can’t come soon enough
Why not pony up and admit it has the potential to be one of the best
